My Review: The Big Wedding (2/10)

"Would somebody just punch me in the face again?"

The best thing I can say about The Big Wedding is that it is only 80 minutes long. If it were 10 minutes longer I don't think I could've made it through the entire thing because it is such a forceful mess with cliches thrown all over the place. At least in other mainstream romantic comedies you have a main story that reaches its conclusion nicely wrapped up with a beautiful ribbon on top, but here you have like five different conflictive stories that magically reach their resolution in less than 10 minutes. Not even Houdini could pull off a trick like that. The entire film focuses on this one messed up family where each member is going through some difficult moment in their relationship and after hearing them ramble for 70 minutes they all peacefully find their resolution and live happily ever after. The Big Wedding is class 101 in Introduction to Mainstream Movie Cliches. What made things even worse is that director Justin Zackham (whose major film credit is writing the screenplay for The Bucket List) had an all-star cast to work with here and none of the characters felt like a real human being. Everyone played a one dimensional and stereotypical character. This is one of the laziest and most shameful movies of the year and I doubt many people will enjoy this "comedy."

Alejandro (Ben Barnes) and Missy (Amanda Seyfried) are a young couple preparing for their big wedding, which means that Alejandro's dysfunctional family has to come together for this special occasion. Alejandro was adopted and raised by Don (Robert de Niro) and Ellie (Diane Keaton) until they were divorced and Don's mistress, Bebe (Susan Surandon), moved in. Don and Ellie had two other children prior to adopting Alejandro: Lyla (Katherine Heigl) and Jared (Topher Grace). Apparently after their divorce Ellie abandoned the country and Lyla broke ties with her father. Now 10 years later everyone gets together for Alejandro's marriage. The only problem is that Alejandro has always kept close ties with his real mother from Colombia, Madonna (Patricia Rae), a devout Catholic who disapproves of divorce and therefor he has never told her anything about his adoptive parents separation. He asks Ellie and Don to act like a married couple and that pretty much leaves Bebe out of the picture thus creating a bit of chaos and building tension along the way. 

There isn't anything nice I can say about this movie so I will keep my review short. There are several other stories and things going on in this film that barely get touched on the surface or are simply used as a gag and not dealt with. Robin Williams plays the priest who is going to marry the couple (we've seen him play this same role in the past). Alejandro is not a catholic and doesn't want to lie to the priest about his beliefs because he doesn't think it would be right, but on the other hand he is capable of lying to his mother about his adoptive parents. I had an issue accepting this and I guess it was a main concern because at one point this is addressed in the film, but it is resolved rather lazily like pretty much every conflict that arose in the film. Everything just felt so fake that it was hard to really identify with any of the characters because none of them played a real human being. This isn't the way conflicts are resolved. Nothing about this film is recommendable, and what makes matters even worse is that such a talented cast was put to waste with this terrible screenplay. The Big Wedding is one of the worst films of 2013.

My Rating: 2,7/10

My Review: New Year`s Eve (5/10)

¨It only happens once a year: New Year`s Eve. It`s a time where the hopeless can be romantic.¨

New Year`s Eve is director Garry Marshall`s follow up to Valentine`s Day. It has a very similar premise where you have a series of romantic stories that over the course of the film intertwine with each other, although this time the story takes place in New York instead of Los Angeles. Marshall worked once again with screenwriter Katherine Fugate and also teamed up with Ashton Kutcher, Jessica Biel, and Hector Elizondo who also worked with him in the previous film along with several other A-list actors such as Robert de Niro, Michelle Pfeiffer, Zac Efron, Halle Berry, Seth Meyers, Katherine Heigl, Sofia Vergara, John Lithgow, Sarah Jessica Parker, Abigail Breslin, Hillary Swank, Josh Duhamel, and rock star Jon Bon Jovi among others. It`s probably easier to mention who isn`t in this movie. Despite having so many great actors the story falls flat because it`s just impossible to follow all the different stories in such a short period of time. It`s like if Marshall was trying to jam in several romantic movies all into one and we never get to fully relate with any of the characters. There is no time to get inside any of the character`s skin and know what they are thinking, they are all one dimensional. There were just too many stories and things going on, that the movie really lacks depth. There are some strong emotional moments and good dialogue scenes, but they are just too far spread out in a multi storyline. Some of the stories are interesting and would`ve been a much better movie on their own, but instead Marshall seems to take us from one story to another right when we were getting interested in the first one. It`s too bad because there is a whole lot of talent involved in this project.

  

It`s the last day of the year in New York and everybody`s eyes are on the NY Times square ball which will drop at midnight to announce the arrival of the new year. Hillary Swank plays Claire Morgan, the vice president of the event and she`s in charge of making sure the ball falls on time. She is a little nervous, but very excited because she always looks forward to this night. Her good friend Brendan (Ludicrous) is by her side making sure she remains calm as head of the police security personnel. They do experience some setbacks however when the ball gets jammed halfway up the pole. The only person who can help is Kominsky (Hector Elizondo), who they recently fired a few weeks ago. There are seven other stories going around that in some way or another connect with each other. There is Ingrid (Michelle Pfeiffer) who decides to quit her job in order to fulfill her New Year`s resolution. She enlists the help of a messenger named Paul (Zac Efron) who decides to help her in exchange for exclusive tickets for a special party. Then there is Paul`s roommate, Randy (Ashton Kutcher) who could care less about all the hype of New Year`s, but ends up getting stuck in the elevator with his new neighbor Elise (Lea Michele) who has to rush to work because she`s a backup singer for pop star sensation Jensen (Jon Bon Jovi). Jensen has a gig that night and is trying to make amends with an ex fiancée who he ran away from: Laura (Katherine Heigl) who happens to be in charge of the food catering in that same party. There are several other stories as well involving a couple expecting at a hospital (Seth Meyers and Jessica Biel), a man lying in his deathbed wishing he can see the ball drop one last time (Robert de Niro), another trying to make it in time to New York for a speech he has to give and a girl he might meet (Josh Duhamel), and a single mother (Sarah Jessica Parker) who wants to spend the night with her 15 year old daughter (Abigail Breslin) when all she wants is to go out with a boy from school she`s interested in.

So there you had the extensive plot which deals with so many storylines that it seems a lifetime just to get to introduce each one. That is my major complaint about this movie which could have been better if dealing with two or three less storylines. Some of the performances were alright, but nothing memorable. I had a decent time with this movie, sometimes it`s just fun to see all these stars together but with so many things going on it wasn`t really worth it. The ending wasn`t really what I was expecting either. Whereas in Valentine`s Day I was surprised at the end with who one of the main characters was expecting to hook up with, in this one it just didn`t really make much sense who Josh Duhamel`s character was waiting all along for. Marshall should not get too preoccupied about enlisting so many actors for his next film, and just worry about recreating a good, strong story. It`s too bad because I actually found some of the lines in the film quite heartwarming, like when Hillary Swank gives her televised speech. A forgettable movie, but perhaps the ladies will enjoy it since there are so many great actors involved.

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My Review: Life As We Know It (4/10)

¨They love Sophie more than anything in the entire world, and out of everyone, Messer, they picked us.¨

Life As We Know It is a very predictable romantic comedy, with uninteresting characters, and a script I felt a 15 year old could have written. There still are however some funny and heartfelt moments that will make this movie enjoyable for its target audience. If you like romantic comedies in general then there is no reason why you won`t like this movie. I am not a big fan of rom coms, since they seem to follow the same logic and clichés most films in this genre do, although there have been some pleasant surprises for me (500 Days of Summer, My Best Friend`s Wedding, Love Actually, Notting Hill, and Definitely, Maybe are movies which other rom coms should try to measure up to). Katherine Heigl has to try to make a different movie very soon because she seems to be playing the same role over and over again. Her previous movie, Killers, was even worse than this one and in my opinion it’s been awhile since she has made a good film.  I used to like her, but now she just seems to be getting on my nerves and will think twice before going to see another one of her films. Josh Duhamel was ok in this movie and had several funny scenes, but I wasn`t too excited about the chemistry between him and Heigl. Greg Berlanti (who is known for producing mostly TV series) directed this film and the screenplay was adapted from hundreds of other rom coms  by Ian Deitchman and Kristis Rusk Robinson.

The story takes place in Atlanta where a married couple is trying to hook up two of their best friends together on a blind date. Holly (Heigl) and Messer (Duhamel) don`t get along from the get go and never even end up going out on their date. They continue on with their own lives as usual although they always run into each other due to their friendship with Peter and Alison. Messer is a ladies’ man who doesn`t believe in long relationships and thinks his life is great because he works as an assistant camera director for the Atlanta Hawks so he gets paid for watching games. On the other hand, Holly owns a bakery and is very happy with her life which seems to revolve around waiting for one of her clients to show up on which she has a crush although she doesn`t even know his name. Finally after his 35<sup>th</sup> visit to the bakery (yes she`s been counting) she finally learns his name: Sam (Josh Lucas from Home Sweet Alabama and Poseidon). He invites her out for dinner, but before they can ever go out, Holly receives a phone call that will change her life forever. Peter and Alison lost their lives on a car accident and they had left on their will that Holly and Messer should become guardians of their one year old daughter: Sophie. A huge responsibility for Messer and Holly who have been accustomed to their easy lives and don`t even get along very well, but they reluctantly accept the task. If you have seen any romantic comedy from Hollywood then you can probably guess what will happen in the next 90 minutes of the film.

The movie is predictable, the secondary characters are one dimensional and you don`t even care for any of them, and Heigl is once again playing the same role she plays over and over again. So no, I didn`t really enjoy this movie all that much, but I can`t deny I did laugh at a few jokes here and there. Life As We Know It is just another one of those movies that will get lost in time and nobody will ever remember, although fans of the genre will probably have a decent time with the movie. The film relies heavily on the same jokes you have when a baby is on film: poop, vomiting, and so on. Still the most likeable character in the film is the baby, Sophie, and that isn`t a very good sign in a movie like this. The secondary characters in this film are almost nonexistent, and the film focuses entirely on Heigl and Duhamel`s love-hate relationship. There really was no need to make this movie, we`ve seen it before in hundreds of other rom coms (this one even has the classic run to the airport scene). Don`t watch this film unless you are really a fan of the genre.

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My Review: Killers (3/10)

¨Let's do something productive... Let's go piss on a stick.¨

If you want to do something productive then don`t go see this movie. Killers is easily one of the worst movies of the year. Not even likeable actors such as Ashton Kutcher and Katherine Heigl can save this film. I believe even true fans of these actors will be disappointed with it. The plot was beyond ridiculous and it wasn`t funny at all. I don`t know if Killers was supposed to be a comedy, a romantic film, or an action movie, but it is certainly didn`t work as any. It wasn`t funny, the action was terrible, and the chemistry between Heigl and Kutcher was nonexistent. This movie tried to be Mr. and Mrs. Smith, but it failed by a long shot. I really wasn`t expecting much out of this movie, but even for my low expectations the film was a complete disaster. Director Robert Luketic had worked in the past with Heigl in The Ugly Truth (another bad movie). Luketic began with a lot of promise as a director delivering the very funny Legally Blonde which was Witherspoon`s break out role, and I also enjoyed 21, but his latest films have been a disappointment for me, especially this one. The screenplay was written by Bob DeRosa (The Air I Breathe) and Ted Griffin (Matchstick Men and Ocean`s Eleven), and I´m pretty sure neither of them will want this movie to show up on their resume considering they have done some decent work in the past.

Ashton Kutcher is Spencer Aimes, a government hired assassin who travels around the world searching for his next target. He is on a mission in France, when he meets Jen Kornfeldt (Katherine Heigl), an attractive and innocent woman who is vacationing with her overprotective parents (Tom Selleck and Catherine O´Hara) in the same Hotel room where Spencer is staying. Jen was supposed to travel with her boyfriend, but she got dumped a few days before the trip and ended up going to Nice (France) alone. It is love at first sight for Spencer and Jen (although you wouldn`t tell from the performances because there isn`t hardly any chemistry between them) and they begin a romantic relationship. Jen doesn`t know what Spencer really does, but it isn`t a problem since he quits his job from the moment he meets her. He decides it is time to settle down and get married and start a new life with Jen. The movie then jumps forward three years into the marriage where Jen and Spencer seem to be living a perfectly happy life. They get along with all their neighbors and are very happy together, but on Spencer`s 30<sup>th</sup> birthday he is contacted by his ex-boss for a new hit. He tells his boss he is retired and wants nothing to do with this, but all of a sudden several people are after him trying to kill him. The killers happen to be people that have lived close to him over the past years, such as co-workers and neighbors, so Spencer doesn`t know who he can really trust. Jen discovers Spencer´s secret past and becomes involved in the whole mess.  

The plot is ridiculous, which is not necessary a bad thing since there is fun and entertaining ridiculous and then there is just plain and boring ridiculous, but the problem is that this movie ranks among the latter category. Killers will probably rank among my list in the Top 3 worst movies of the year. There isn`t any memorable scene or performance I can say I truly enjoyed, although there was one surprising cameo which is probably the highlight of the movie. Katherine Heigl needs to try to do a different role or at least try a different genre since all she has been working in are romantic comedies. Maybe she tried to do something different in this movie, but at the end it was just more of the same. There is not a single funny scene in the movie, the action is pretty terrible, and the romance is pathetic. I wouldn`t recommend this movie to anyone, not even Kutcher fans. The only good thing I can say about this movie is that it`s short.

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My Review: The Ugly Truth (5/10)

(5/10) Australian director, Robert Luketic, brings us this year`s romcom: The Ugly Truth, and the truth is that it`s ugly. Luketic directed 21 last year, which was a film I really enjoyed althouh he is best known for directing Legally Blonde (Reese Witherspoon`s breakout movie) and Win a Date With Ted Hamilton. I have to admit all three of those movies were better than this one. The Ugly Truth is full of cliches, stereotypes, and cheesy dialogues. From the moment the movie begins you already know how it`s going to end and you can guess pretty much everything that is going to happen throughout the entire movie. The language is a lot dirtier from most other romantic comedies, although that is about the only difference I could find because most of these movies are pretty much the same. Perhaps watching 500 Days of Summer a few weeks before The Ugly truth may have influenced me because that movie was so original and fresh while this movie was just so packed with cliches and typical stereotypes. The characters in 500 Days of Summer were more complex, while in this one they`re just plain and vague. Every stereotype of a man (womanizer, drinker, unwilling to commit) and every steretoype of a woman (overcontrolling, dreaming of Mr. Right, and emotional) are all put into this movie through the two main characters leaving little room for more complex and intriguing one`s.

Gerard Butler and Katherine Heigl are both great actors. Butler is known best for his leading role in 300, but he has also made some romantic movies in the past such as P.S. I Love You (a lot better than this one), while Heigl is known for her role in the TV series Grey`s Anatomy, but she has also done some comedies such as Knocked Up and 27 Dresses (this movie is very similar to that one). In The Ugly Truth, Heigl plays Abby, a producer for a morning show at a local TV station who dreams of meeting the perfect guy, but deals with controlling issues. The morning show is a complete disaster, the ratings are low so they decide to bring in the charismatic Mike Chadway (Gerard Butler) a man who says things like it is. Mike seems to know everything there is to know about what attracts men and women and Abby is at first completely repulsed by him, but she eventually ends up going to him for advice when she needs help at trying to get a date with her new neighbor, Collin (played by Eric Winter). From this point on everyone who has seen at leat one romcom in the past will probably know where this movie is going.

Katherine Heigl and Gerard Butler do what they can with this weak script and there are some laughs thanks in most part to their charm, but at the end it just isn`t enough to save this movie. The supporting characters are almost non-existant or at least I didn`t care for any of them and the entire movie focused on the two main characters and at trying to put every stereotype known to men and women into them. The movie isn`t terrible, but it doesn`t have anything noteworthy either. It was ok for one viewing perhaps, but I won`t be checking this movie out again.